Friday, June 8, 2012

Confession: It's a lot easier to blame others... isn't it?

 "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you." Wayne Dyer


When things don't go as planned, or when they go wrong, the first thing that most of us do is start searching for someone else to blame. It's much easier to place the blame on others rather than accept the blame ourselves or just let it go. Blame can be a scary thing, it allows us to never accept responsibility for our own actions, for our mistakes, and ultimately for ourselves.


"The search for someone to blame is always successful" Robert Half


Isn't this so true? It wasn't our fault when we got fired, it's not our fault that our children are disrespectful, it's not our fault we are overweight, it's not our fault they don't talk to us, it's not our fault the house isn't clean.... The list goes on and on, things that aren't our fault, reasons why it happened, other people that are to blame, never looking at ourselves, never looking within.


I recently had the opportunity, to be on the outside looking in on a situation where this game was taking place. You know the game, "the blame game", oh what a fun game to play! It didn't matter what the other person did or said, it was their fault, every situation they faced with the other person, it was always their fault. The one continuing to place the blame, turning every conversation, disagreement, and problem onto the other. To look from the outside in, I thought how sad it is that "the blamer" is disabled from moving forward in their life because of the continuous blame being placed on others. Never accepting responsibility, never acknowledging the underlying issue, never letting go of control long enough to recognize the damage they are doing. In turn, never dealing with their own heart issue that has made this game so easy for them to play.


I've played this game, played it very well... Unable to deal with the real issues, too hurt to recognize that the real issue started with me, with my heart.  Everything in my life was wrong and there was ALWAYS someone else to blame. I thank God for opening my eyes, for allowing me to come to the place I did when I realized that I had nobody left to blame, the only person I could point the finger at was myself.


"When you blame others, you give up your power to change" Dr. Robert Anthony


Confession: I couldn't change myself, I couldn't even allow God to change me because I was too busy blaming everyone else. If I can't admit my faults, then I can't release them to God, and allow Him to work on my heart.


Who or what are you blaming today?  Have you been stuck in a place of not understanding why you can't change, why God "can't" change you?

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