Confession: I struggle daily to find my motivation...

Confessions: I struggle daily to find my motivation....

I'm pretty sure this one can apply to you no matter where you are in journey, wife, mother, high school, college.... wherever you may be.  Every area of your life requires motivation, but it's the same thing for all areas. For a long time I thought I just had no motivation, then it hit me... There really is no such thing as no motivation, if I decide to sit on my rear all day and watch television and stuff my face with food, you might say "she's lazy and has no motivation". But really, my motivation would be that I don't care about myself. If I don't care about myself then that's what motivates me to do nothing. (just an example, not real life. haha)

So what is your motivation?? What drives you to do or not do certain things in life. Here's where I open up and share some of my motivations, and how I want them to change, or how I've worked on changing them.

Mothering: Old motivation: Raise my kids to fulfill every ones expectations, and to always behave "appropriately" so that I would be perceived as a "good mom". That is so crappy!!!

New Motivation: Raise them and guide them according to their individual personalities and help them to see gifts and help them to grow. I haven't perfected this yet, but I spend everyday working at it.

Wife: Old motivation: Making sure that my husband is always happy, that he has freshly cooked dinner every night, and a clean house, and cleans clothes, not ever arguing.... the list goes on. (btw none of which he asks or demands) I wanted to be seen as the "perfect wife"

New Motivation: To make sure that our relationship is always centered around God, to fulfill the journey together that he has sent us BOTH on.

I could seriously pick at every area in my life and tell you what my motivations used to be and what they are now, but I have had so many changes in my life, that it would be a really long list!

For me, I found that I had just a couple of different things that motivated me: what others thought about me was a huge motivation... There are times when my motivation was lack of care or concern for myself...

 What motivates you will determine the outcome of whatever you are trying to accomplish. By living my life according to how others thought I should, caused me to lose myself and a sense of what I'm here for. It took me a while to find myself again, but I did!! I've had to completely reprogram my brain, and evaluate every thought that I have and what my motivation is.

So again, what's your motivation? Who/what are you living for? There is no such thing as NO motivation, find it, embrace it or change it. Be happy

Confession: My motivation for not taking care of my body is that I just didn't care, this has been a huge struggle for me! My new motivation is to be healthy and happy and a good example to my kids.

Another confession: Okay, there are also other reasons for me not always taking good care of my body, I might be addicted to food! I seriously think about it ALL day!!! It's just that now, I don't eat it every time I think about it! LOL

Confession/Warning: Grouchy Mama in the Morning

 Grouchy Mama in the Morning

I can remember my mother telling my brothers, "Just leave her alone, she's a bear in the morning!!! " I suppose I always thought that when I got "older" and had kids that I would miraculously become a morning person.... That sounds like a joke when I think about it now...because now that I'm "older" and I have kids, I can with full confidence say..... Don't mess with me in the morning, I'm like a bear!!

I try, I really do.... I want to be one of those women that get up before the sun, spend quiet time alone with God, and start the everyday with a fresh loaf of bread or muffins. The reality is that the best way to get bread or muffins in my house is to ask me to make them the night before. And as far as spending some time with the Lord, well I make the time, but it is by no means"quiet".

Now, I might have a better shot at becoming a morning mama if I could sleep at night, but my lovely children have yet to allow me to do that. I'm cool with that... as long as they don't mess with me too early in the morning!  I hear people say "One day you will be dragging your kids out of bed". You are joking right??? If they are sleeping, then I plan on also being asleep... I have a feeling that they will get plenty of pink slips for being late to school....

I wish I could say that coffee helps, but really it just fuels the fire because then I want to be left alone to drink my coffee! Maybe I sound like a bad mother to some of you, but this blog is called Confessions. So I've embraced my morning moodiness, I make no attempt to accomplish anything other than feeding my children, drinking my coffee and loving on my babies.

 I have to daily remind myself that I am the mood setter in my home, so if I desire a home filled with peace and joy, than when I get out of bed I have to bring my mama down and leave my bear up... I haven't perfected this yet, just ask my kids, but I am trying!!!

How about you, do you struggle with morning, or just being the mood setter in your home? Share your struggles, tips, goals, and accomplishments!

Confession: I hate mornings and I suck at them.... I'm not always the peacemaker in my home, sometimes I'm the one that prevents the peace, and I think maybe if I had chocolate cake every morning that then I would be on point!! But then I would be writing a confession about all the weight I gained, so for now I will allow myslef to be renewed my God, and face my daily struggle head on!

Birthday Confessions

Birthday Confessions!!!!

30 years ago on April 19th God made a little girl, He already knew how broken her body would become, and how her heart would ache, He knew her strengths and her weaknesses.  He wrote a book, carefully titled each chapter, and thoughtfully wrote on each page... He made sure to include much humor, drama, love, and grief. (because what's a good book without all that!?) He didn't need to proofread it, because He knew He could edit it later, and when He was done it was published with The Turner publishing company!

We all have a book, written by our maker, each one is a beautiful novel, always worth publishing! Celebrate your life, tell people about your book, allow your author to continue to write!

Confession- I've never been big on celebrating my birthday, I have no fear of age, or getting older, it was just never a big thing for me. This year, I feel renewed, refreshed, stronger, wiser, more beautiful, healthier.... and the list goes on.
I realized that I didn't feel worth celebration, that I didn't feel special, or happy. No matter how much I tried to fill my life with things that would make me happy, I wasn't. When I was younger it was "friends" and things, and substances, as I got older it was my husband and then my kids. As amazing as some of those things ( not the "substances") are and can be, they can't and won't and didn't make me happy! (not a lasting happiness)
I had to realize that I am worth celebration, not because I'm some incredibly special person, but because my author thought I was worth it enough to write my story. He created me, He made me in His image.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Psalm 139;14

Celebrate whether it's your birthday or not, your author took the time to write your story, it's not over yet. You are fearfully and wonderfully made!!!

Confession: It's good for the soul (So is chocolate cake!)

Confession: It's good for the soul (So is chocolate cake!)

Okay, so I know that chocolate cake isn't good for your body but I personally have not met a woman that would argue that it's not good for your soul! (Really chocolate anything will do)Let me tell you a very small bit about me! If you know me well then you will expect nothing but honesty from me, if you don't know me well, you will soon find out! A few things that I am are... A wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister... I'm more than this, but these stand out. I'm not always good at these things, but who is ALWAYS good at anything?!?! I love my family and friends, and most people in general but I don't always like everyone and I'm sure that plenty of people don't always like me! Actually there are lots of times I don't even like myself, this is part of the reason I decided to write. Before I start confessing, I suppose I will give you a little bit of my inspiration for starting a blog.

Here is short conversation I hear from other women (and have also thought myself)
-"Wow, this is a great dish! Can I have the recipe?"
-"Oh thanks! But it's a secret...haha"
This seems so innocent right?!?! But really, it's pretty jacked up! If I have you over for dinner with my family and you love my meal and want to make it for your family, then why wouldn't I want for you and your family to enjoy it at home just as much as you enjoyed it with me??? I'll tell you why, because then you might make the dish and it might taste as good as mine (maybe better!) and then I'm not as special or MY recipe isn't as special. This seems so innocent but is just a very small look into how most women really live their (our) lives.... In Secret!!! So here we go...

Confession is good for your soul. I always hear people say this, and once I think about it, I agree. I don't mean confession as in going to a priest, sitting in a closet and confessing all you've done wrong and then saying 5 Hail Marys and 3 Our Fathers and blah blah blah. ( no harm meant if that's something you practice) I mean confession as in just being honest and real with yourself and other women! I keep my feelings, frustrations, hurts, failures, mistakes.... to myself because if others see these things, then what would they think of me!?!? But when I do "confess" these things to someone (other women) I feel so relieved, not only to just be real, but also because in confessing you almost always find out that it's not just YOU.

Women are so hard on themselves and each other, we pick ourselves apart, and when we are hurting we pick everyone else apart. We could be building each other up, supporting each other... how much better would you feel if you knew that ALL women struggle as mothers, wives, friends, leaders, teachers, followers.... Guess what we do ALL struggle with frustrations, and insecurities, and things we feel we are failing at. Acknowledging/confessing these things brings freedom for yourself and frees other women from trying to accomplish unrealistic goals because of the false expectations we've given others! Confession makes you feel free, which feels amazing! And that my friends is why Confession is like eating chocolate cake, because chocolate cake always makes you feel better! (even if it's just a nibble)

So here is my first confession... I'm not very good at computers and just signing up to write a blog took me over 2 hours and lots of tears, AND I neglected my children while doing it! And if I had some chocolate cake, I would so be eating it right now!