Confession: I'm not always the best Comforter

In our house, (and I'm sure it's the same for all you that have littles as well) sleep is very important, and very rare...at least a full nights sleep. Usually it's the baby that is up, but when she sleeps, one of the older two get up. It never fails, almost every single night somebody is up.

I stumble up the steps in the dark, lay the baby in her crib, walk to my room and crash. My pillow, my sheets, the fan, my bed, sleep! Then I hear it, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, followed by terrifying screams. Off balance, half asleep, stumbling in the dark, and if I'm honest a little bit ticked that I'm being woken up, I run into the room. Me: What?! What's wrong?! Why are you up?! Child: I'm scared, I had a bad dream again, I see shadows, I can't sleep... (Now my initial reaction in my head is to say go back to sleep and stop crying) Me: Ok, let's pray about it, (we pray) mommy loves you, you should go back to sleep now, Jesus is always with you.

I stumble back through the dark hall, and plop back into my bed, as I start to fade, Mommy!!!! Now I'm fuming and I want nothing to do with being a kind, sensitive, comforting mom right now... I just want to sleep! But I don't, there is no stumbling this time because now I'm wide awake, I go in and repeat the process, but it's not working. So I lay in the bed with them, rubbing their back, singing, praying, and then just laying with them. About 30 minutes go by, and I get up and go back to my bed, and before I even plop on my bed, Mommy!!! AAAAHHHHHH You have got to be kidding me?? This isn't really happening right now, I have to sleep, I have stuff to do tomorrow...

I walk, with heavy feet, (maybe it's called stomping) into the room and harshly say, I need to sleep, this has got to stop. They look at me crying, but mom I'm scared, crying, and frightened looking to me for comfort.

Like a punch in the gut, my breath is taken away as it hits me. How often I cry out to God for comfort, how often I just need Him to hold me and tell me it's ok, and EVERY single time He does. He doesn't tell me He's too busy, and that He has the whole world to take care of. He's never harsh, He never even has a second thought. I'm His child, and He loves me, He is my comfort, He is my father.

So my conclusion is that my husband, their father, is the one that should be getting up with them, right??? Just kidding

I'm supposed to be that for my kids, they are my children, I love them, I'm their comforter, I'm their mother. How dare I think for a second that anything else is more important than comforting my children when they are hurt, scared, sad... I want to love my kids, like my Heavenly Father loves me. I know it won't be perfect, because I'm not, but I will make it my mission  that if my children know nothing else, they know I love them.

I am their comforter. Confession: I'm not always good at it!